Waiting Time...

“Jenny” he called

I stood still, but didn’t turn, waiting for him to speak.

“I know you are angry” he continued “I know it was wrong of me, but try to understand” he begged.

Then I turned and looked straight at him. He was standing there, a sad expression in his face, as if it is the last time he would ever see me, as, if after today, our parting will be forever

“Understand?” I asked him. My voice was cold I know, but I couldn’t help myself, here I am, heartbroken in to pieces and he just want me to understand it. “What is there to understand Keith? You told me what you have to do and I understand all right, understand really well” said I and turned back to go. Away from him, never to come back but his voice stopped me.

“I am sorry Jenny, I am sorry I hurt you, but if there is anything in the world I can do to spare this moment, I would willingly give my life to it.”

“Being noble Keith?” I asked him. He winced. I know it was because of the sarcasm he heard from my comment, which he had never heard me use before, but what else could he expect? That I would willingly accept what he was telling me? That I would willingly accept this pain he is causing me with his words?

“You know, I am not sorry that this has happened. At least this showed me what it will be if we have continued. Now at least I know what a coward you really are” I told him and ran as far as my leg would carry me. As far as possible from him. Then I could cry in private for the pain Keith had caused me.

Oh Keith! How could you! How could you do this to me? If you could just asked me, I would wait for you. But you didn’t. You decided that this is for the best without consulting me. How can it be for the best? I wanted to shout these words to him. But it was too late. I loved him with all my heart and yet it was not enough. He was leaving me behind…

I came back from my memories. It was raining hard and I couldn’t stop the memories coming back to haunt me. That long ago, when I loved Keith, who also loved me back. But he also broke my heart with his decision to part because he was going away to join the war. To fight for our country. But I was selfish. I wished he would stay for me. That my love will be enough to hold him to me. But I was wrong. I understood now. He couldn’t ask me to wait for him, because he knew someday he may not return. He was noble and sacrificing. But I didn’t want that. I wanted him. No matter what, I waited for him even though he didn’t want me to. All these years when he was away, I kept on listening to the news on the radio for any news that I can get. And prayed daily to keep him alive just for me. It didn’t matter that we are not together, as long as he is alive, it was enough for me. I would wait. Yes I would wait.

Time passed. I never heard from him again. He never wrote to me. I cried every night. Nobody heard my sobbing. Life went on, but I still waited for his return. Waited with every breath I had because without him I am nothing. Nothing.

Then I heard it.

I heard that he was back. He is alive, my heart cried with joy. And waited for him to get in touch with me. For him to send a word for me. But he didn’t. Why? I wondered. I sent him a message, but didn’t get anything back.  So I decided that I would go and look for him.

I travelled just to see him. I was even ready to camp on his doorstep I f he didn’t receive me. Such determination I had. My hope was not wasted, because he was there to open his door. I was so happy to see him that I didn’t notice that something was missing. Then he said “who’s there?”

I just stood there. Disbelief written all over my face. Then I noticed, his eyes were blank and was gazing straight without proper direction. I realized then why he didn’t get in touch with me. Why my messages were not answered.

He was blind!

“Who’s there?” he asked again, this time with a strong voce.

“Keith” I whispered. My eyes were filling with tears, not of pity but of love,

“Jenny” he said softly.  Then he said in a harsh voice “why did you come?”

“I came to see you Keith” I said

“Why? I told you that we are done” he was about to close the door.

“Keith please”

“Go back Jenny. I don’t need you” he said and tried to close the door again, but I stepped inside before he could stop me.

“Go back Jenny” he repeated

“No, Never!” I cried “I can’t Keith, I love you. Please don’t send me back”

“You waited for me’ It was not a question but statement.

“Yes. I waited. What else could I do Keith? I know I was angry and I said hurtful things to you. But I understood what you told me but I couldn’t accept it. How can I?” I asked him

“I was afraid of that” he said “but I can’t marry you now Jenny. Nothing is changed”

“Nothing is changed? You are alive, how can you say that?

“I still can’t. You don’t understand”

“Why?”

“Why? You ask me why? Look at me Jenny” he cried

“I am looking at you” I told him softly

“Don’t you see Jenny, I am blind. How can I take care of you, when I can’t take care of myself” he said bitterly.

“It doesn’t matter Keith, it doesn’t matter. You alive that is all matters”

“It doesn’t matter? Of course it matters”

“No it doesn’t. Unless…” I stopped suddenly with a doubt in my voice.

“Unless?” he asked

“Unless you don’t love me anymore”

“Not love you anymore? How can I not? I loved you from the first moment we met Jenny. Nothing has changed in that way” he said and held his hand.

I ran to hold me and we were both crying while hugging each other.

“But Jenny, I am blind” he said and this time it was just statement. An acceptance of what was happening.

“it doesn’t matter Keith” I reassured him “ would you leave me if I was the one who is blind?” I asked him.

“Never!” he said.

“Exactly!” I said “then now you understand how I can never leave you”

And that was that. He hugged me so strongly that I was little hurt, but the pain was forgotten with the happiness I got when he said “I love you Jenny, I love you so much that I was dreading a life without you, but I couldn’t ask to wait for me when I was not sure if I will be able to return to you.”

“I know love, I know, but it’s all over. We are together now and that is all that matters”

“Yes, together” he said and smiled. We embraced again. 

I knew then there will be hardship in the days ahead to come, but with him beside me, I know I can overcome anything. Because we all heard through all our lives “True Love Conquers All”